


Hole in One

by conceptofzero



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2014-05-12
Packaged: 2018-01-24 10:52:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1602578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conceptofzero/pseuds/conceptofzero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first thing out of Quarters’ mouth when he sees Itchy is a brusque, “Get the fuck off of that.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hole in One

**Author's Note:**

> For Ray!

The first thing out of Quarters’ mouth when he sees Itchy is a brusque, “Get the fuck off of that.” 

Itchy doesn’t budge, naked and straddling the minigun. He just raises an eyebrow and gives Quarters a cheeky look. As tempted as he is to say ‘make me’, he knows that Quarters will in fact make him get off, and possibly chuck him out of the room too. The guy’s got no sense of humor about anything.

So it’s a very, very good thing that he’s got such a big dick or even Itchy might not be able to tolerate him. Instead of giving Quarters a reason to throw him off the gun, Itchy just strokes a hand down the barrel. “Hey you! Your gun was looking a little dry, I figured I’d oil it up for you.” 

“I don’t want your ballsweat all over the barrels, get your boney ass off my fucking gun.” Quarters steps in and shuts the door behind him, but he’s not too eager to shift Itchy off. The man likes playing the curmudgeon but Itchy knows that’s a front. On the inside, he’s still a surly piece of shit, but the kind who likes attention. 

“No sweat here, I washed and slapped talc powder on before I came in. I’m so fresh you could suck ‘em.” He pats his junk, waggling his eyebrows at Quarters. “And if you want to-”

“I ain’t spending the evening coughing up chalk dust, especially not ball-chalk dust. I’ve got limits. And you’re right up against ‘em.” Quarters shrugs off his jacket, still shittalking Itchy as if he can hide the fact he’s getting undressed by loudly saying how much he’s not into this. It’s one of Quarters’ cuter habits. Itchy just leans forward on the barrel, grinning as he watches his sometimes boyfriend fuck up taking off his cufflinks. “Piece of shit- why’d you even get me this crap?”

“Because you look hot with them? Why else.” He enjoys posing like he’s about to be on the cover of Twinks and Ammo, making sure Quarters gets a good look at his rump. It might not be an applebottom, but Itchy’s heard no complaints once people are in it. He feels great even without cushioning. “You need a hand?”

“I got ‘em on, I’ll get ‘em off.” He manages to get the cufflinks off after some rough tugging and ripping. Stitch is going to be pissed about what Quarters is doing to his shirts but hey, that’s Quarters’ problem, not Itchy’s. Quarters’ eyes keep darting over to Itchy, looking him and up as he gets his dress shirt off and into the laundry basket, leaving him standing there in his pants and a somewhat dingy undershirt. “Get off her.” 

“Nah. I think we’ve bonded. We’re inseparable now!” He strokes a hand along the gun’s barrels, pretending to jerk them off. Itchy’s probably overplaying his hand but he’s been holding back so far and there’s only so much patience in him. “I’ve touched her in all of her intimate places, oiled her up and let her run-” 

Quarters’ hand snakes out and snatches Itchy by his neck, lifting him off the gun. The hand is tight and he dangles above the bed, holding his breath. Quarters shifts the minigun off and drops Itchy back on the bed, letting him bounce on the mattress. Itchy grabs a breath and turns onto his side, posing again, even as Quarters rolls his eyes at him. “You’re covered in grease.” 

“Gun oil, and only the finest kind. Like I said, me and the gun got real intimate.” Itchy chews on his lip a little, enjoying the show Quarters is putting on as he sets the minigun up high. all his muscles flexing. The undershirt’s doing a lot to highlight exactly how ripped Quarters is and Itchy would pay good money to watch him beat the piss out of Hearts Boxcars. He runs a hand down his chest, through the oil, and brings his fingers to his nose to sniff. “You know, I bet I’m going to pop a boner every time I smell this.” 

Quarters gives an unimpressed grunt, undercutting his own point when he strips his undershirt off. A hand settles on his belt and he unbuckles it, letting the thick leather slide out of his belt loops. “Come here, put your arms behind your back.” 

“What, no please?” Itchy’s dick is chubbing up at the sight of Quarters with that belt in his hands and his fly partly open. If he looks closely, he can see the base of Quarters’ cock. Itchy licks his lips a little, sliding his palms over his thighs to spread them. “Try playing nice.” 

The sneer makes it clear that ‘please’ is pushing it. Still, he doesn’t force Itchy’s arms back or anything. He just stands at the edge of the bed, rubbing the belt’s insides together and letting the whisper of leather on leather fill the room. “I’ll play real nice with you.” 

“Now that sounds like something I’d say. Glad to see I’m rubbing off on you in more ways than one.” He’s teased this out long enough and he sits up, turning his back and sticking his arms out like Quarters wants. The big guy gets the loop around Itchy’s wrists and pulls them together, buckling him tight when he hits the end. Itchy leans his head back so he can fix Quarters with a grin. “Speaking of that, how about you get your hand on my dick and give me a little attention.” 

Quarters puts a hand on the back of Itchy’s neck and shoves him down onto the bed, holding his face against the blankets. He presses his hips up against Itchy’s ass and rocks forward, and there’s no ignoring the bulge rubbing against his ass. Itchy can’t move and all he can do is just hang on and get his face to the side while Quarters rubs up against his ass. Well, he can wiggle back some too, which is pretty fun though he’d prefer Quarters to let him do that without pants in the way. 

“You need to learn to give me some fucking respect.” He growls out, trying his best to be threatening. Itchy just snickers. There’s no way he’s going to take any of this seriously. He keeps his ass popped up in the air even when Quarters backs off, though he keeps wiggling it and gives Quarters a show. That gets him a hard spank and he just wiggles harder, asking for another. He gets it, Quarters giving him two more in quick succession. “You get off on being a piece of shit, don’t you.” 

“Guilty as charged.” Itchy rolls over onto his back, waggling his brows and his hips. “How about you come over here and fuck my throat?” He opens his mouth and lets his tongue loll out, wiggling a little in Quarters’ direction. 

That’s usually enough of an invitation, but Quarters just gives Itchy a dark grin, rubbing his cock through his pants. He keeps it tucked inside his pants as he walks over to the gun cabinet in the corner of the room and opens it up. Itchy cranes his head up, trying to see what he’s picking out. It’s one of his revolvers and he slowly and deliberately loads it, filling each chamber while he keeps a careful eye on Itchy. He snaps the cylinder back into place and approaches Itchy, who doesn’t have to ask what’s going on. Itchy just keeps his mouth wide open and doesn’t flinch when Quarters slides the barrel inside. “Suck it.” 

The gun tastes exactly like you’d expect. He sucks it anyway, bobbing his head up and down the silver-plated barrel. Quarters watches him like a hawk and Itchy’s sure to put on a show for him. He runs his tongue over the end of the barrel, swirling around the opening with a showy flourish. The noises he makes are exaggerated, loud sloppy sounds meant to get Quarters even more excited. Of course, he’s got a gun in Itchy’s mouth so he’s probably about as turned on as he ever gets. 

Itchy casts an eye southward to see if he’s sticking out of his pants yet, but he can’t look that low when he’s blowing a gun. He keeps focusing on the ways it’s different from a cock. It’s so smooth from where Quarters has polished it, and his tongue just slides easily over the barrel. The metal’s cool to the touch, and unlike any real body part, it doesn’t hold any heat either. There’s a moment after his mouth presses tight to it when he pulls off, and he can feel the warmth it drained from him radiating back, before it just disappears entirely. 

He reaches out with his ankles, hooking them around Quarter’s waist while he keeps sucking on the revolver. Itchy’s cock needs some attention and he happily moans when Quarters touches him him. The rough hand rubs up and down his shaft, not quite a handjob but sure better than nothing. Itchy slides his mouth as far down the barrel as it can go, making sure to flutter his eyes a little at Quarters. 

That seems to do it. Quarters pulls the gun out of Itchy’s mouth, tossing it on the bed beside him and leaning in to mash their mouths together. It’s hard to kiss somebody with a beak but Itchy’s gotten used to it and he just opens his mouth, welcoming Quarters’ tongue inside. The hand on his cock keeps on stroking him harder and harder, and he can feel Quarter’ erection pushing up against his ass. “Fuck me,” he mutters into Quarter’s mouth, “fuck my face until I choke.” 

They pull back and Quarters shoves his pants all the way down, his cock finally popping over the top. Itchy turns onto his belly and scoots around as best he can when his arms are in restraints. He lunges for Quarter’s cock, managing to get his mouth over the head and sucking on him. He rubs his hips down against the bed while he tries to cram as much of the shaft into his mouth as possible. The sheets are nice to rub against but the dick in his mouth is what he really wants. It’s what Quarters wants too, since his hips immediately start shoving in, not giving Itchy any sort of warning.

He’s gotten used to that by now. Itchy also knows that Quarters likes the sounds that get made when he’s too rough, so Itchy indulges him, gagging when the cock pushes against the back of his throat. Itchy’s gag reflex isn’t actually that sensitive so he’s got to partly fake it, but it’s not like Quarters notices. And it’s so satisfying to hear the lust-filled groan coming out of his charm partner when he’s getting what he wants. 

Itchy’s hands clench at the air and his hips grind down against the sheets. Quarters has a hand on the back of Itchy’s head and he holds Itchy steady as he thrusts in. The cock’s better than the gun, even if it is bigger and harder to swallow. It’s better tasting, all that salty warm flesh and it has its own heat so his mouth doesn’t start feeling cold. Itchy drools around the edges of his mouth, closing his eyes to just enjoy the sensation. He likes feeling out of control, and he especially likes the way Quarters takes up nearly all of his senses. It would be all five if the loudest sound wasn’t his own gagging. 

“Don’t wuss out now. Choke it down.” Quarters pushes, the head of his cock shoving into Itchy’s throat. More follows with the next thrust and Itchy’s eyes start watering as he actually starts to choke a little on it. He’ll be sore tomorrow but that’s fine. Honestly, he likes sounding husky after he and Quarters fuck, just so he can see the looks on other people’s faces as they figure it out. The voyeur in him loves those moments. 

Quarters’ other hand settles on Itchy’s head as well and he can feel Quarters lace his fingers at the back, using the leverage to thrust in as deep as he can into Itchy’s face. He pushes it as far as he can, fucking Itchy’s mouth until Itchy’s nearly out of air, and all he can do is just gurgle around the cock inside him. When he pulls back, Itchy sucks in air and spits on the bed to get rid of the excess spit, mouth lolling open to be fucked again. His hips are steadily thrusting against the bed and he knows he’ll probably come with Quarters in his mouth. “S-same goes for you. Don’t be a fucking wuss-”

He’s cut off when Quarters shoves in again. Both hands hold Itchy down as inch by inch, Quarters slides his cock into Itchy, until his mouth hits the base of the shaft and all Itchy can focus on is the hard member in his mouth and throat. His eyes are rolling even before Quarters starts to thrust, forcing hard, sharp sounds out of Itchy. Three thrusts in from both of them and Itchy comes with a desperate grunting sound, his cock leaking on the sheets. Good thing it’s not his bed he’s messing up. Quarters doesn’t notice, still fucking Itchy’s mouth while Itchy twitches away on the sheets, focusing entirely on the warm pulsing pleasure radiating through him. 

This time when Quarters backs off, Itchy lets his mouth flop shut and he takes a moment to try get his wits back. His throat’s sore and he’s still drooling pretty hard. Quarters lifts him up into a sitting position and wipes off Itchy’s mouth, pulling him into another kiss. Itchy fumbles a little and he finds it easier to just let Quarters set the pace. 

They shift around a little, Quarters getting the belt off and then shoving a bottle of lotion into Itchy’s hands. He’s hard and impatient, his cock pressing against Itchy’s stomach. “Hurry up.” 

“Give me a second.” The bottle’s hard to open when his fingers are busy being useless. Itchy eventually gets the cap off and squeezes out some, slicking his fingers up. He lies down on the bed and gets a leg up on Quarters’ shoulder, ignoring the scowl he gets in the process. With his ass elevated, it’s much easier to get his fingers in, right up to the knuckle, without straining too much. As his fingers wiggle inside, his leg starts to lose its grip. “Help out will you!” 

Quarters rolls his eyes openly but his hands grab hold of Itchy’s hips and keep him steady while Itchy works his fingers in and out, slowly fucking himself on them. He’s pretty prepared at this point, or as prepared as he can be when it’s Quarters, but he takes his time, putting on a bit of a show. For all his grumping, Quarters is pretty pleased with what Itchy’s doing, his eyes fixed on the way the fingers push in and twist. 

Itchy’s pleased too, his cock starting to twitch again. He’s not quite able to get hard again but it’ll come, especially once he’s got Quarters inside of him. Itchy slips his fingers out and unhooks his leg from Quarters’ shoulder, falling on to the bed and spreading out on it. “So, are you going to fuck me, or do I need to get another gun?” 

“You’re not sticking any of my guns in your ass.” Quarters just shakes his head, giving Itchy a look like somehow it’s way worse to stick a gun up there than in his mouth. As if. They’re both just holes, and they’re both as dangerous. Still, Itchy picks up the gun lying on the bed beside him and runs the barrel down his chest, waggling his brows as if he’s going to do it. 

Quarters takes action, flipping Itchy over. Itchy tries not to laugh as he’s manhandled up onto his knees, his chest pressed against the covers. He’s thankfully not in the wet spot or this would suck. Instead, he just wiggles his ass again, looking for another hard spank from Quarters. This time, what he gets is the feeling of Quarter’s cock pressing up against his ass. “C’mon, c’mon, stick it in.” 

“I am you fucking idiot. Hand me the lotion, you’re always too fucking tight.” One large hand comes into Itchy’s field of view, and he hands over the bottle. Itchy keeps the gun though, fingers running over the barrel as he feels the cold sensation of Quarters pouring lotion into his ass crack. It’s too much to really be useful but he knows Quarters likes the look of it, like Itchy’s already been fucked by a bunch of guys and he’s following up the pack. His fingers dig into the flesh of Itchy’s ass and hold him steady as the head of his cock slowly pushes in. They both groan at the same time, Itchy shoving his head into the mattress while Quarters keeps shoving his head into Itchy. 

Getting in is always the hardest part. Itchy ends up panting through the entire thing, existing right on the knife’s edge between too much pain and just enough pain. Quarters is a big guy and his cock’s the same, not just long but also thick. It takes a lot of rocking back and forth to get Itchy used to the size, then pushing forward just a little and doing the same there. Itchy’s loud, running his mouth and moaning, making sure Quarters knows exactly how much he likes it. “Fuuuuuck yeah yeah yeah, fuck that’s it. That’s iiitt, that’s the big fucking fat cock I like. You’re stretching me wide open, I’m not going to be able to side for the rest of the day.” 

Quarters sets a hand on Itchy’s shoulder, squeezing hard. He doesn’t talk much, clearly focused on just getting into Itchy’s ass. The more Itchy talks though, the harder Quarters’ cock seems to get, until Itchy can feel it squirming inside him. He’s got to be halfway in because Itchy feels completely full and experience has taught him to read this as a sign that the real fucking’s about to begin. The other large hand stays on his hips, keeping Itchy steady as Quarters finally pulls all the way back, and then shoves all the way in again. 

Itchy goes from flaccid to hard in about three seconds, whining loudly as he feels Quarters slam in. The sound continues as Quarters fucks him, quick hard thrusts that leave almost no time for Itchy to catch his breath. His fingers grab the sheets and the gun’s grip, squeezing both tightly as he’s fucked hard. It’s only the hand on his hips that keeps him upright as Quarters puts his back into it, the rest of him all too willing to just lie on the bed and be fucked straight into the mattress. 

“Yeah, aw fuck yeah, aw fuck yeeeeaaah,” the words come out between various vocalizations, just a spattering of moans and almost incoherent ramblings. All Itchy can focus on is the cock in him and how it feels as it pushes in and out. He’s being stretched to his limits and while he was rolling his eyes at the amount of lube either, he’s very, very glad for it right now. This isn’t even all of Quarters either and already it’s too much to comfortably fit, but he’s making every effort to accommodate his charm partner. 

Quarters digs his thumb into Itchy’s right ass cheek, his left hand still pressing down hard on Itchy’s shoulder. Those both might leave a bruise by the time they’re done and Itchy’s cock bobs at the thought, leaking precum onto the sheets. He’ll touch them later when he jerks off and remember how it felt to get them. Itchy tries to shove back against Quarters’ cock, but there’s no room to move, not when Quarters is in deep and he’s holding Itchy still. “Don’t struggle.” 

“Then fuck me harder so I don’t have toaaggghhh!” Itchy’s bitching turns into a strangled sound as Quarters does exactly as demanded. He shoves deep enough in to make Itchy’s eyes well up and all he can do is pant as Quarters pulls back and slams in again. They’re really fucking now, the only real sound the slap of flesh on flesh and the hard breathing from both of them. Itchy’s knees are digging deep into the mattress, inching out wider to try accommodate the thick cock inside of him. His world’s been narrowed down to the glorious conflicting sensations happening to his body, the constant push and pull between just-right and too-much. His cock is so hard and he’s so desperate, begging loudly and without any restraint. “T-touch me, touch me, touch me, touch me!”

The hand holding his shoulder against the bed lifts off and paws at Itchy’s erection, rubbing him rough and hard. Itchy can’t shove forward or back and he just hangs in Quarters’ grasp, moaning loudly as he finally gets what he wants. He’s very nearly there when Quarters makes a harsh noise and slams in as deep as he can go. The sensation of hot cum filling Itchy’s ass is unexpected but totally welcome and he squirms as he’s pumped full. Quarters’ hand keeps fiddling with Itchy until he comes too, his whole body tensing up and the loud almost deafening bang as the orgasm rips through him and he comes all over Quarters’ hand-

“FUCK, Itchy!” Quarters yells. It takes Itchy a moment to realize that the bang was not the orgasm, but the gun going off. Whoops. There’s a huge hole in the wall from the revolver and Itchy is still too busy squeezing tight around Quarters dick to really care about it. He just rocks his hips instead now that Quarters’ grip has loosened, fucking himself back onto the still-hard cock. Itchy wants to squeeze out every last drop from him. 

Quarters finally pulls out and drops Itchy. He yanks the gun out of Itchy’s hand and Itchy lets him, preferring to just lie still. The second wet spot is right underneath him but he’s too exhausted to even move. His ass throbs and it feels full, and he wishes he had a mirror or something so he could watch the cum drip out of him. At the moment, he just settles for feeling it run down the side of one cheek. 

“You stupid fucking idiot! You could have shot us!” Quarters is lecturing Itchy, or at least trying to. It’s totally wasted effort though because Itchy could care less when all he can’t feel his hips or legs. They’re there, he knows they are, but where he should feel them dangling awkwardly off the bed, all he feels is just a warm pleasure from the navel downwards. Quarters ends up picking Itchy up and forcing him to kneel and look up at Quarters. His eyes are bright and angry, and maybe a little concerned. “Hey! You could have killed me!” 

“Nah. It was never going to hit us.” Itchy tells Quarters lazily. He puts his arms around Quarters’ shoulders and rests his face on the big man’s warm skin. Itchy could really go for some cuddling now, though he suspects Quarters will just drop him on the bed and stomp off. “We’re the alpha timeline. Nothing can kill us until it’s our time.” 

“You’re a moron. This could be a doomed one!” He’s really angry about this one. Quarters shoves Itchy’s hands off of his body and gives him a hard shake. It’s really hashing the afterglow. “Then what?”

“It’s not doomed.” He rolls his eyes and gives Quarters a lazy smile. Yeah, he’s going to kick Itchy out, with or without his clothes over this. That’s fine. Itchy’s gotten what he wanted. “No timeline where we’re together is a doomed one.” 

Quarters pauses. His eyes narrow and he stares Itchy down. Then, much to Itchy’s surprise, he ends up pulling Itchy against his chest, giving him a hug. It’s a close as he’s ever come to saying that he was worried about Itchy. It’s… really nice. Itchy sets his hands on Quarters and enjoys the moment, knowing it won’t last.

It doesn’t, and less than a minute later, he’s pushed back again. “You fucked up my bed.” 

“You fucked up my ass. So we’re even.” Itchy points out. He swoons a little into Quarters’ arms. “Let’s go to my room, sleep and then fuck when we wake up. Or we can stay here and sleep in the wet spots. I wouldn’t mind getting my cum all over you.”

“You’re fucking disgusting.” Quarters says, but he picks Itchy up. He grabs his underwear off the floor and gets them on with one hand, not bothering to look for Itchy’s clothes. Itchy’s fine with that, and as they walk out into the hall, he lounges in such a way that he’ll flash anybody walking by. Getting fucked is fun, but making sure everybody else knows you got fucked is even better. 

“I love your dick.” He tells Quarters, getting a scoff in return. It’s about as close to an ‘I love you’ as they get, and Itchy couldn’t be more content with that.


End file.
